this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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