I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
