I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it glows. i had to have it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
