There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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