It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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