On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
