i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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