I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
