Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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