I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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