dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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