Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
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He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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