what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
