You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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