sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
