Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
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so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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