I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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