U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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