okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
