fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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