Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize