I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize