Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
