Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
