im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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