Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
