billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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