I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
