thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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