It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
