My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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