Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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