this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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