So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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