i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
