i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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