forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
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I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
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Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just want nice things and good sex
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.