I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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