While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
