also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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