Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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