I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she smelled like a LAN party
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
