so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize