Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
