He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
