Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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