just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You took a bar mat shot.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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