Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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