Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
