I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we're making bets on your personal life
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Randomize
