nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
