And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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