I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
please don't ironically join a cult
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