it was like his penis was on wheels.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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