Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
