How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
