Non-Jews are for practice
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
