She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
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Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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