I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
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Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
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Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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