i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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